KIDS’ BIRTHDAY GIFTS: Do You Open Them During or After the Party?
Just curious to see how everyone felt.
From mom logic: ”I understand the reasons why kids don’t open presents at their parties anymore, yet as one tradition gives way to another, I can’t help but feel sad that my children are missing out on one of most memorable experiences from my childhood: namely, the joy of picking out a present for a friend and watching him/her freak out (in a good way) at the moment of its unveiling.”
UPDATE 10.7.08: Love the comments on this post over at Oh-dee-doh, and the thank yous sent out after wards.
From a few other parents:
“Where I come from when a guest arrives with a present, they hand it to you as you greet them….You take the present, open it right there and then, and thank the person for your present, then you put it away….I find that a lot of people really want to see their present’s opened so they get their satisfaction, but it is not a boring occasion for every one else.”
“What has worked great for us is if my son opens the presents as each kid arrives….This happened by accident at my son’s first birthday, we liked it so well we’ve tried to do it since.”
“I have always been disappointed when I attend a child’s birthday party and the presents are not opened at the party. To me, one of the most important REASONS for having a birthday party is to teach children to both give and receive gifts well.” [last 3 comments from here]
“If it is a small party, I think it is nice to open gifts together as a group….For large parties, gift opening can be a real problem and may not be practical.” [from here]
“I have found that kids between the ages of 2 and 5 don’t have the attention span to sit and watch someone else open 10 gifts that they wish they were getting themselves. Instead, I took photos of my daughter opening each gift—after the party. Then I wrote out thank you notes being specific about the gift that was given and I included photos of her opening that person’s gift.”
“My son attended a party at a party site and the kids were waiting for the birthday girl to open her presents and the parents began handing out goodie bags and said thanks for coming. I could see that the kids were disappointed that they didn’t see her open their gifts….What I’ve come to think about this practice is that if the parents decide to open the gifts at home it would be nice if they explained it to their guests and even tell them that it would give the child more time to open and enjoy each one.” [two comments from here]
“If I were to be a guest at your party with [a big group of] people I would be SO happy that you chose not to open the presents!”
“People spend a lot of time trying to pick the right gift for a child. Not allowing them to see the child responce is unfair to the gift giver.” [two comments from here]
“[If you're having your party at a venue and inviting a big group of guests,] I say don’t bother and MOST people will be totally fine with it. But remember, you can never please everyone!” [from here]
Tags: etiquette
July 17th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
We don’t have birthday parties every year, but when we do – I let the child who gave the gift help open it with my child. Photos of this make great thank you’s and every one gets to help open something. We usually go on and let the children start the activities, take a break to open presents and eat cake and then follow up with activities.
July 17th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
I really love the idea of presents being opened at the party, but size is a factor.
On a similar topic: my mother threw me a HUUUUGE baby shower and wanted me to open all of the gifts in front of everyone. The gift opening portion of the party took nearly an hour and I felt like I couldn’t say thank you in a real way to the givers.
It was also in a backyard and I was on the porch away from guests who were mingling and, in my opinion, trying to pretend to be interested.
I was grateful, but it was hard.
Thankfully children’s parties are usually smaller!
July 19th, 2009 at 11:16 am
I have 4 children and the way we do b-day party gift opening is this: I set up 2 chairs in the front of the room and gather all the children on the floor in front of the chairs. The b-day boy/girl gets to sit in one chair and then each guest gets to take a turn “sitting” next to the b-day boy/girl while he/she opens “their” gift from them. This also makes the gift “giver” feel special and recognized. All the kids LOVE it and it also gives me a chance to snap a picture of the b-day boy/girl with each of their guests to include in thank you cards. :)
July 20th, 2009 at 4:14 am
My son’s only 4, but we’ve been to our share of parties for his friends. I’ve been to several parties where the under 4 guest list was over 30! Maybe it’s because we live in TX, but I’ve seen this with older parties as well.
Can I tell you how difficult it is for kids that small to sit through the orgy of presents? I think the only people who enjoy it, if you can call it enjoyment, are the grown ups. The kids just want to play.
I think the best birthday party we’ve been to involved a book swap — no presents, no silly gift bags. The kiddos brought an unwrapped book and then they got to go home with a book. The left over books were donated to charity.
January 23rd, 2010 at 3:05 am
In the Netherlands it is custom to open presents when the childs get them. The small givers keep their present with them at first when they arrive. Then cake eating starts after everyone has arrived and whilst eating the happy birthday boy or girl receives and opens each of his/her packages one by one.
However, at these parties hardly ever more than fifteen guests are presents (parents of visiting children leave and pick up their kids later).